Bewailing Twitter

Already we’re seeing the fallout of permitting a rogue billionaire to purchase Twitter, turning a once-sedate, sober platform where the verities could be discussed without foaming-at-the-mouth declarations has descended into a mad melee of unsound speculation. Take the atrocious attack on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi’s husband. Official media has placed the blame squarely on the intruder, a far-right MAGA terrorist bent on slaughtering the Speaker herself. Now that Twitter’s moderators have been silenced, conspiracy peddlers are free to traffic the most absurd theories.

So what if security for one of the most powerful people in Washington was easily penetrated by a homeless addict. What’s curious about that? Yes, both individuals were found in their underwear. Again, so what? It was bed time. The existence of two hammers? Homophobes are cackling it was a Grindr moment gone wrong (alluding to the delicious LGBTQ2SIA+ practice of introducing various objects into one’s rectum apart from a throbbing penis, though that’s also wonderful), the alleged attacker a known member of an aggressive nudist organization. Other far-right white nationalist extremists are pushing back against the trusted media assertion David DePape was one of theirs, saying he lived in a bus plastered with BLM and Pride flags, and that he associated with local hippies, details which poison the preferred narrative.

Was marijuana involved? What of it? It’s legal. Perhaps the pre-battered Paul offered the proto-burglar a toke to calm him down, to assuage his fascist rage. In any case this is an object lesson in why unfettered access to the public domain must be swiftly curtailed by the authorities. You can’t have un-vetted voices spreading dangerous misinformation about important personages. The idea an 82-year old billionaire is a closeted queer in 2022 is absurd. If Paul liked dookie on the noodle, liked to swallow dong, we’d know about it. He’d be only too proud to bare his true sexual identity before his fellow Americans. We aggressively homosexual progressives dare to share our nocturnal doings without fear of public censure, the lash or the rod. Good times.

I must say, video images of the Obama rally, where thousands took up the vulgar chant ‘F**k Joe Biden’, disturbed me greatly. How were MAGA trolls permitted access to the event in the first place? I simply don’t understand how a noble, long-serving public servant like Joe Biden has buckets of ordure slung at him daily online. How are his administration’s policies responsible for whatever annoyances afflict everyday Americans? As he noted, inflation is a world-wide problem that is not of America’s doing. Likewise rising gas prices are due solely to the unfortunate conflict in Ukraine, a crisis exclusively engineered by Putin and his oligarch cronies. There’s a shortage of diapers? Nothing to do with Scranton Joe. A slight bump in crime statistics has been blown out of proportion by far-right racists reaching back to Willie Horton to score cheap political points by demonizing a specific segment of the population yet again.

I say it’s time to stop mocking the President. Quit shopping out-of-context videos—where he appears to not know where he is, where he’s going, etc., or where his stutter re-emerges, rendering elocution impossible, even grotesquely comical if you’ve the sensibilities of an impudent juvenile—online, credulous viewers taken in, made to think the President is a dotard, a gibbering gimp unfit for his role. I resent the fact many people think he’s in the throes of advanced senility based on a few edited clips. There’s no cabal behind the man actually running things because he boasts the mental legerity of a tuber much of the time. That’s not how things could conceivably be. Running such an operation would require the assistance of the intelligence services and a compliant media complex so corrupt and mendacious as to be unworthy of any emotion except contempt. Since that can’t be the case, it’s past time to absolve Joe of any responsibility fot the state of the nation. He’s doing the best he can under trying circumstances. Using his name in vain won’t solve a thing. Be kinder, everyone.

That’s today’s diary, guys.

Forever yours,

Tristan K. Pugwash